Gee, sorry I took five seconds to be impressed with my sister. That must really hurt your pride.
[The snipe in the texts doesn't show the apprehension or the concern at the mention of Vanya and violin. He knows she can't, shouldn't give up something she loves so fiercely just because of a power she and the rest of them are barely even beginning to get in a place of trying to understand-- but it doesn't stop the worry from curling hot low in his chest. But if tossing Derek off a train is the worst of what happened- well- maybe he doesn't have to worry too much about it.]
What's the difference in that and you being mad that I didn't know you were hung up on some ghost train? Sorry I didn't immediately jump to the idea that you were in some kind of trouble, or that something was wrong. I didn't exactly think you were enough of a damsel that you wouldn't be able to handle yourself if something came up, but I'll make sure to remember that next time.
[The problem with fighting with Diego is... he won't stop. He'll keep going and keep pushing, keep throwing steel-laced barbs and going for the throat every time with his words. And Derek? Derek has talked a lot in their meet-ups. For how little time they've known each other, Diego knows a lot about the other man to throw at him and Derek might seriously come to regret even engaging in any of this with him by the time it's all over.]
[ Every part of Diego's response stings in a way Derek hasn't actually let himself feel since finding out that Peter had been the one to kill Laura. While vastly different ends of the betrayal spectrum, the pain feels exactly the same: someone he thought he could count on would rather remind him why he should never trust anyone and just stay alone because everyone, including Derek, is better off that way.
Diego takes a swipe first at Derek's loyalty to Vanya and Derek's response comes to mind, flows through his fingers, and gets sent before Derek can take the time to think it through and realize now he's just being mean because it hurts less than being hurt. ]
No, not really, it's about time you give her an ounce of credit for something good, right?
[ At the same time as he realizes what a shitty thing that was to say to Diego, he also realizes that it's defending Vanya and, right now, that's about the last thing Derek's in the mood to be doing.
Diego's other texts then throw blows at his pride and insult his loyalty to Diego himself. That actually kind of hurts more than anything else, that latter bit. If there's one thing Derek prides himself in, its loyalty to his pack and, until about five minutes ago, that was something Derek had considered Diego to be a part of, here at least. Now, he's really not so sure. He can't even make good choices for friends, let alone romantic partners. Everyone he cared about got home ended up hurt or dead because of him. All signs point to Omega for Life being his best course of action and Derek does not like that. ]
You're an idiot. I'm not mad that you didn't know I was on the train. I got on the train because I WANTED to be on the train. I'm mad that you immediately just assumed that I was a dick who ditched you instead of thinking that maybe there was something more to it, but you know what? That's fine. Maybe I should've ditched you if that's how you feel, anyway, instead of wasting both of our time.
[ He doesn't mean any of that last part, and he knows it even before he sends it, but some part of him just wants Diego to hurt, too, if he has to and maybe that's stupid and childish. No, it's definitely stupid and childish, but he can't help it. Right now, he really could use a friend and both of the ones he held closest to him are the last people he feels inclined to trust to be that person for him. That's a really lonely feeling, being right back where he started before he got here. ]
[The response to that first text is instant, knee-jerk, and white-hot. There is no thought or consideration to it at all. Just venom. It's all so much more of an exposed nerve now that he's in the painstakingly slow process of trying to be better than he has been with Vanya.]
Fuck you. Seriously, keep my relationships with my siblings out of your fucking mouth. It's not any of your fucking business.
[He's incredulous at the whole idea of it, honestly. What he's heard about the train- wanting to be on it just doesn't compute for him. He may have thought differently if he'd actually come across it, he supposes. If he were calmer, he might take the moment to think what he might have done if he'd seen Mom or Patch, but as it is he's nothing like calm and the thought doesn't cross his mind at all.]
I'll save you the trouble.
[Anything sent after that won't be replied to, but would definitely have the read receipt there, to let Derek know he saw it. Petty is as petty does.
There's no way for him to efficiently explain the reason that's the first thought in the situation. There is too much there to put it into words-- but the truth is, insecurity is Diego's default programming from entirely too many years of being told he wasn't enough, wasn't good enough, didn't match up, and it's such an automatic state he doesn't even notice it as a separate entity anymore.]
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no subject
[The snipe in the texts doesn't show the apprehension or the concern at the mention of Vanya and violin. He knows she can't, shouldn't give up something she loves so fiercely just because of a power she and the rest of them are barely even beginning to get in a place of trying to understand-- but it doesn't stop the worry from curling hot low in his chest. But if tossing Derek off a train is the worst of what happened- well- maybe he doesn't have to worry too much about it.]
What's the difference in that and you being mad that I didn't know you were hung up on some ghost train?
Sorry I didn't immediately jump to the idea that you were in some kind of trouble, or that something was wrong. I didn't exactly think you were enough of a damsel that you wouldn't be able to handle yourself if something came up, but I'll make sure to remember that next time.
[The problem with fighting with Diego is... he won't stop. He'll keep going and keep pushing, keep throwing steel-laced barbs and going for the throat every time with his words. And Derek? Derek has talked a lot in their meet-ups. For how little time they've known each other, Diego knows a lot about the other man to throw at him and Derek might seriously come to regret even engaging in any of this with him by the time it's all over.]
no subject
Diego takes a swipe first at Derek's loyalty to Vanya and Derek's response comes to mind, flows through his fingers, and gets sent before Derek can take the time to think it through and realize now he's just being mean because it hurts less than being hurt. ]
No, not really, it's about time you give her an ounce of credit for something good, right?
[ At the same time as he realizes what a shitty thing that was to say to Diego, he also realizes that it's defending Vanya and, right now, that's about the last thing Derek's in the mood to be doing.
Diego's other texts then throw blows at his pride and insult his loyalty to Diego himself. That actually kind of hurts more than anything else, that latter bit. If there's one thing Derek prides himself in, its loyalty to his pack and, until about five minutes ago, that was something Derek had considered Diego to be a part of, here at least. Now, he's really not so sure. He can't even make good choices for friends, let alone romantic partners. Everyone he cared about got home ended up hurt or dead because of him. All signs point to Omega for Life being his best course of action and Derek does not like that. ]
You're an idiot. I'm not mad that you didn't know I was on the train. I got on the train because I WANTED to be on the train. I'm mad that you immediately just assumed that I was a dick who ditched you instead of thinking that maybe there was something more to it, but you know what? That's fine. Maybe I should've ditched you if that's how you feel, anyway, instead of wasting both of our time.
[ He doesn't mean any of that last part, and he knows it even before he sends it, but some part of him just wants Diego to hurt, too, if he has to and maybe that's stupid and childish. No, it's definitely stupid and childish, but he can't help it. Right now, he really could use a friend and both of the ones he held closest to him are the last people he feels inclined to trust to be that person for him. That's a really lonely feeling, being right back where he started before he got here. ]
no subject
Fuck you.
Seriously, keep my relationships with my siblings out of your fucking mouth. It's not any of your fucking business.
[He's incredulous at the whole idea of it, honestly. What he's heard about the train- wanting to be on it just doesn't compute for him. He may have thought differently if he'd actually come across it, he supposes. If he were calmer, he might take the moment to think what he might have done if he'd seen Mom or Patch, but as it is he's nothing like calm and the thought doesn't cross his mind at all.]
I'll save you the trouble.
[Anything sent after that won't be replied to, but would definitely have the read receipt there, to let Derek know he saw it. Petty is as petty does.
There's no way for him to efficiently explain the reason that's the first thought in the situation. There is too much there to put it into words-- but the truth is, insecurity is Diego's default programming from entirely too many years of being told he wasn't enough, wasn't good enough, didn't match up, and it's such an automatic state he doesn't even notice it as a separate entity anymore.]